by Christina Osheim

laughter is so important. I have to laugh. I was talking with a good friend about my ego. And how it is a temperamental one and must be watched/tended carefully. 

my ego is like a dog I have to train. Hahahaha, oh man. *sigh*

i am coming down from the ny high, and will soon be back in my clay couture. But clay couture is my wardrobe of choice and I will be happy.

im going to dream of laughing tonight.

c

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by Christina Osheim

Life has a funny sense of humor. I finish one show to get a friendly reminder from the upcoming one the payment is due in full. Today. *womp wlmp*

Philly time, tho!

 

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by Christina Osheim

Kroger has free cholesterol screening for the month of February. That is how I feel today. Abreal. My new word to be this century’s version of surreal. It’s not away from reality is is from reality.

Today has been a life changing day. A seed has been planted with a possibility. I can just keep my garden weeded and watered and see how it grows. Someone club me for all the bad metaphors I write. I do all kinds. Mixed, bad, silly, honest, funny... annoying. Blech! 

This whole day and year thus far feels so abreal. I am a dancing marionette trying to keep moving at the speed of the ground underneath. Because that is what it seems like. As I work and out stuff out the landscape changes and i run, walk, prance, Jazzercise my way across it as gracefully (Hahahahahaha- that’d be the day) as I can. And my feet tingle and currently itch. And if I ever have a sip of alcohol again I will most likely die quickly. Abreal indeed.

And I can get my cholesterol tested at Kroger. World, you are a strange strange place. Ok. It’s 9:25, this birdies gotta settle into my nest and have a happy half hour of halcyon hijinks in my mental mole hole (I’m such a dork!) before sleep. Night everyone!

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by Christina Osheim

today has been good. Really good. I am learning. It’s a slow process, but I’m having fun! 

I am starting to set goals that are plausible. I never will have to worry about dreaming. I can dream and do it well. But acknowledging that a dream has so many complex, uncomfortable, awkward and humbling steps if you decide to see if it can be a reality outside your own head.

i am starting to get into the idea of a mind palace. My head as a world I can live out my ideal for a bit. To go to that happy place and revel. Be a pig in a pen, a dog rolling in freshly mown grass and just bask. 

It will either then be a fun mental escape, like going to the movies, or it will then be something you ask - what is the first thing I’d need to do to make this a possibility. 

i have to say I am wary of even using language like mind palace and pleasure extreme as I tend to like those too much. What is more subdued, prudent language. But prudent is one of those onomatopoeia words. It sounds/reads like it’s meaning. Prudent. It’s like chastity. It just sounds/reads... blech. Mind maze? Mind odyssey? Mind tent? Mind shack? Mind shaft? (Har har, I’m such a nerd) Halcyon hijinks? That is actually what I will call it- halcyon hijinks in my mind mole hole. It is honest and silly/ludicrous. Perhaps that is why stupid silly humorous things have become so important to me. I laugh and separate and stop taking myself quite as seriously while recognizing that what I think and why and how is very important and cannot be ignored.

oh you middle ground!  

I wonder if I will ever find someone who loves me with all of my quirks. And who I can love back equally. If I do I do and that will be another thing that will be very different than what is in my head. A whole new set of realities to see if it’s doable. 

currently, I do have a goal. A feasible goal! A dream palace. It is almost 10 and time for my beauty sleep so I can make tomorrow the rested version of what it’ll be. 

goos night everyone! Sleep well! 

 

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