Today is my last day house and dog and chicken sitting. I will miss Rigby the love pup. But I am so excited as tomorrow I will sleep in my own place. I am starting a new phase. I don’t know what will happen and that is ok.
i am excited to have my bed back. It’s a great bed. It was my mom and aunts childhood bed and I will be sleeping under my grandmothers wedding quilt that her mom made for her. I love that I will be honoring, loving & using what my blood used and made.
i wonder what they would think of my life now. Grandpa Osheim would listen to me tell stories about what I’m doing and then quietly tell me about something pertaining to my job that I never would have guessed. Grandma Osheim would have been just so proud of me. She wouldn’t have a clue what I was actually doing but that people think it’s good she would glow with. Grandpa Nelson. He’s a tough one. He died when I was 15 so I never got to know him as an adult (or pseudo adult as I was 20 and 22 when the other two died.) he was quiet but grandpa Osheim was also. I think he’d find casting fascinating. And try to find ways to clean up my studio as he was very tidy and particular. My brother reminds me so much of hin. So in that way I know how he’d be responding. Very curious about details and that I wasn’t going too off the wall.
That is not a bad thing, making sure I go too off the wall. I have come to accept many things. One of which is I do still live to s degree in the extremes. Again, Anne of green gables is my literary doppelgänger. I have to have these mad glad sad dreams and fears and pull them back to the middle with a nice dose of reality. I have a feeling I won’t chsnge much in this, except perhaps as I get more comfortable in my skin and sobriety be able to do much internally and not emote quite as much. But that is some imagined version of some future that may or may not exist.
all I know is it has been one hell of a weekend! really good. I’ve worked my tail off for much of it. But had so much fun! Tonight I was invited tons concert and I normally don’t go to any. But I figured that if I get asked to do something I do it as I don’t know what hp has in store for me. This was great!!! So good. It really spoke to my creative self and id like to collaborate with her somehow somewhere. So we exchanged info and I’ll email her tomorrow w my # and info and let’s get some idea out there started. It’s like so many things you start the ball rolling by having s conversation and being honest. I was honest with a friend earlier tonight. And I don’t know where that honesty will end up going. Could be ?!?? And this time I’m trying my hardest not to imagine. But just be me and live my funny life and accept that my that there are infinite possibilities. Oh man. I have no clue who reads this blog other than my sis in law. So as it is time for bed as I have day 2 on the job tomorrow!!!
dear sister -in-law: HELLO!! I can’t wait to show you my place and all when you and my bro visit this Xmas!!!