it’s so funny, I am not sure how to write what I want to write and not break anonymity in some way. A friend came back to the rooms. I want to say a good friend, but we’ve never really hung out outside of the rooms. But I do consider him a good friend as I care deeply for him.

Thats another interesting thing: me getting to know my feelings. I saw my therapist today and she is so good. And we are really working hard to let my inner feelings out. Not hide behind some optimistic bs cloud bc I’m feeling crappy about something worthy of feeling crappy about. 

And part of that includes me taking ownership of how I feel and not feeling shame if it isn’t returned. I’d say I don’t care if my friend who’s back didn’t care as much as I do for him. And that is partially true, I’m just glad he’s back and hope to draw him into the wonderland called Möbius Keramikk for some clay healing. But I also would be sad if he didn’t care.(about me as a friend).  

Is it ever a bad thing to be too joyful for and from others? I’m going to go with my gut and say no. But being so transparent with my happy joyous loving and free emotions means that there’s the opposite that I can’t ignore. So I’m learning that now.  

I like to learn. But it is hard. I think I perhaps need to reread or relisten  to Anne of green gables again. She has become a dear friend and my literary doppelgänger. Ok, off to trim 3 plates and now and hie me home for some computer time. 

ha det bra, Venner mine!

 

 

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Christina Osheim