pretty much every night I think “I’m going to bed early tonight” and somehow I always seem to be writing my blog after 10pm— when I am really hoping it’s 8:15 and I can read for an hour (or listen to an audiobook and play solitaire on this phone) after writing a funny, intellectual, meta post showing that I am the queen of perfection and the gold standard. *sigh* and it is no wonder I’m a recovering alcoholic trying to accept that perfection is not possible.
*awkward silence falls in my kind*
things are going well. I’m starting to begin to learn how to deal with myself. Self tolerance is building. Which is so good as my tolerance had gotten so low.
I messed up my first trade show. And am now owning my mess up in terms of not being able to produce as quickly as I expected to. And I am not going to feel shamed for this. I am learning. As long as I learn that is ok. And don’t lie. Holy hell. I have been overwhelmed by all of this. I am now starting to feel like I am not just a boat in full speed with no wheel that works or anchor. Or that bus in speed.
It’s interesting. I am now really just sleeping st my parents. That’s about it. And... and. I am becoming ok with this needing to be how my life will best progress. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them, it means that I need to have clear boundaries for me to be most effective.
So, now, this tired happy effective lady is going to put down her phone and say Gnite!
Today was another kick ass day!