I am at step 10 in my recovery from The Hooch. This entails a nightly inventory. I realize how quickly and how reflexive self pity is for me. Wowza! Part of it, the inventory is to get me to ask the HP to remove this CD from my rack. (HP higher power CD character defect)
its funny, I’m Norwegian Lutheran and believe in the god of my understanding. But a part of me still rebels at all of the masculine language related to the god idea. And actually it’s not just masculine language but sexual language. I see the god of my understanding as a multi faceted phenomenon who embraces it all. And has all of all in it. So someone remarking she is a loving god id get equally uncomfortable.
I did make today. I coiled and listened to the secret history of twin peaks. It made me so happy. My hands pushed and pulled and made. And will keep on making. A lot of my 10th step has been me trying to remember to ask for reminders of the joy I feel and remove residual self pity. And to give me the courage to stride boldly forward and clay as I will. Ack! It’s too late and I’m beginning to ramble and think too hard which is a sure sign I’m going to delve into self pity land when I should be saying- huzzah! Tomorrow I get to Jazzercise, clay, and play with 4 awesome kiddos! And maybe go to a meeting @ my HG a place I love with comrades in sobriety. I’m one lucky lady. (HG home group)