gosh. Goodness. 

when I first started this i was thinking about it as creative writing. I wanted to read cool. I’d have a beginning middle end, all wrapped up in some nonsensical bow of rainbows farting. And now it’s a haphazard *aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah* have no way to write or say or express what I want to. Go figure I’m a freaking maker. 

Im a strange wound up and ok with it ball of.... Christina?!?   I wonder if my sister in law is still reading this. Or if anyone is. Or if my drivel has become just that drivel that is driving people away. One to many—- got busy. Don’t know what to say. Life is great here’s a posicle.

that is ok if they have. Because really, this is for me. This is to

help heal and figure out this strange little head. I am making amends right now. And it has been beautiful. I realize how good it is I am doing the work I’m doing. And even as I’ve come so far how much further I still need to go. It comes back to my idea of being a filter. I cannot see myself. So I try and try and try to have right thought and action to make me right. And I cannot be. I am human and flawed. But I can give my right thought and action out. And receive it. It is truly beautiful.

im making work and getting ready for Minnesota. And nynow. It feels so alien and away. But next week I will be in West Virginia. What the heck!!!! Oh goodness. And I was wearing double hoodies and knee high wool socks in the studio today because it was snowing. Life is abreal indeed! (For those new readers— if there are any- I spent a blog post writing about the word abreal I made up and how it is more fitting at this moment in time than surreal.) 

soooooooo... I’m thinking about giving online dating the heave ho and figuring I’m pretty darn happy by myself. The rush would be to be able to possibly have kids but I’m not sure I want any so.... Beyoncé’s single lady May become my theme song. 🤷‍♀️

Shit. I don’t know what the next most important thing to do is. Other than sleep. Somnos, god of sleep, help me figure out what is most important for tomorrow. Xoxo 

Christina Osheim