Today was incredible. My heart is so full and happy and full. I am like the grinch right now.
I had 2 surprise visits and a third that was likely but occurred. So good to see them all. I don’t have the words to express what they all have meant. What each little step and conversation of this trip has meant. How I am now weaving this beautiful, funny, complex, absurd quilt that is my life. I was reminded so much of my grandpa Osheim and the Osheim genes. I felt Roland and felt the farm and the earth. And grandpa. It is a queer ache— I am borrowing that phrase from Anne of green gables. But it is- a queer ache. I miss him them and it so much, hold so much joy that they were and I was here, and that they still are as I move forward. I was told a story of my great aunt Cora, when she was dying, grabbing some of her skin around her collarbone, pulling it, and saying “it is time for me to shed this.” What a beautiful sentiment. What a beautiful truth. I got into a conversation about religion tonight with someone who has black and white catholic viewpoint. Uff da. Needless to say spirit, body, abortion, murder arose. It also wished I had some of my brothers skills at debate. Or honing in on and exposing flaws of logic. Instead I cried uncle and came up to bed.
This has been the best day. After an awesome show day I had dinner with my clay professor. I hung out with him and his wife for 4 hours and had the BEST time. I was honest and me and honest and me! It was brilliant! God, I love that man so much. This is a day i will treasure always.
So I have the happiest of hearts. I am growing my hair out, retiring my hair coat and just being. I have tears in my eyes as I write this. Some of it is tired and most of is a pervasive, full body joy that humbles and elates me. I am this funny walking paradox!! I am going to go to sleep and dream of Norwegian sweaters, birkenstocks, mr Rogers, and wheels.
i will end with another Anne of green gables reference. I feel that I have come to a bend in the road. I don’t know where it will end up but know it’s in a good direction. Xoxoxo 🤗