and I’m hone. In my ridiculously messy bedroom that I really will someday learn how to keep tidy. And if feels great.
I am learning a lot about myself as I go forward and i like routine. And mundane. Because I don’t think they ever are routine or mundane but a baseline to work my worlds around. Start simple and let it grow.
i day this as I can view NY NOW in some respects as an ego building trip. Validation that I am talented and I have something to give to the world visually. That is awesome! But that is also fleeting and elusive and it comes back down to the work and the pot. And to me, trying to make it so that I am working to give back to my community and it is not the money (SOMEDAY!!!!) or prestige (prestige will always be a devil I have to take care around. Because it is prestige I want.) so make it that I need to make. Or focus on that fact. I need to make and the pot dictates where I end up and not what I want. If it continues to get me where I want to go/be awesome, but the pot comes first. I don’t put the prestige before the pot. my nerdy clay version of the nerdy classics joke don’t put Horace before Descartes. (Womp womp)
so it felt great to be exhausted driving back from dc considering cat naps at gas stations, folding church bulletins, putzing and then hitting a meeting. ESPECIALLY hitting a meeting. Man, it felt good. I feel back home. I can now have some hijinks in my mental mole hole and burrow in. Life is pretty darn good right now!