oh gosh. Tomorrow I am going to try really hard to adult. And to adult with as much ease as I can muster. I have these strange freak out (not so strange considering...) that EVERYONE is reading this blog and can tell the moods and rhythms of this agile (fickle, distractable, stubborn, easily amused) mind.
in reality it is most likely solely my sis in law (Hahahaha, oh the humor of that as I have a feeling she can oeecieve, parse the thoughts of this lunatic. Thanks for putting up with my musings and give hobbit a belly rub rub for me)
anyway, I wonder sometimes if I am too transparent. But the thought of being anything but is horrific. (For me a step on a path to ruin and destruction)
so I guess it will just mean that I will laugh at myself. A lot! Revel in the ridiculous. Tomorrow I need to email people, write thank your to everyone from nynow and indie Gogo supporters. Not a ton of stuff but I feel like the fat kid with acne, hand me downs, and a lisp, trying to pretend that the intelligent, cute guy did really just give me his number and blow x’s my way. And I have sweaty palms, a tingling spine, and shaky voice worried that it’s not real, I’ll call to soon, I’ll be discovered as a fraud... and so on.
which I know is anxiety and nerves over something new. Something out of my control. That the only way to get rid of this fear is to confront it. Worse case is...??? There is no worse case. Worse case is someone LIKED my work enough to want to stay in contact and timing or fit isn’t right.
thus Adulting tomorrow. So blog buddy(ies) i will do a task that is uncomfortable tomorrow. And take pleasure and joy that the key, the crux of my making is still for the challenge and passion. I am holding onto my knowingly naive standpoint of I am doing this because I love it and not because of the profit. Product over production. I will keep making the work “right” and seeing how much I can get from it. And will have my proportions off if need be!
night alle Sammen! May norwaynplunder the gold!