I have tomorrow off. This every other weekend working has thrown me off. In a strange way I kind of like having a solid week day to myself, but in other ways it makes a schedule and routine irritatingly hard to get. And classes.
So. I’ve put classes on hold until I can get myself into a routine that doesn’t exhaust me so much.
Yup. I’m exhausted. And the only way to get through it is to work through it until I find my rhythm.
AND!!!! So much of that is trusting my instincts and doing the next right thing that is right for me.
this must read as a “duh” to many but to me it’s a “doh” as I so frequently have to be reminded that indeed I am not unique and cannot do everything perfectly.
again. Blah. I started thinking about full spectrum lights as House lights. I replaced my sun lamp with a bulb that cost ~$8 last fall. That light has been working since I was 18 years old and I have used that lamp a ton.
To specify, the rain gets to me and the cold. I can feel my SAD nipping at my heels and waking up my ennuical blues. Is ennuical even a word? nooooope. I looked it up: ennuied. Which is even better! Hahahaha. My ennuied self. 😆
I got off work today and just came home after a quick stop to my studio and have worked. I have my trivets almost ready to ship. And am getting my website in order. My friend and I are working on a heated plaster reclaim table and I’m thinkihg about a heated floor stand for my clay to stand on to stay soft and moist and magic making through the winter months.
And to do this I must make some money. So get what I have out out. Finish what is started and start some more.
I met my residents brother yesterday. And we talked about things for him. He is loving my old iPhone and listening to the craftsman. He said hey to me when I walked in. It is bringing me so much joy to see him grow. And emerge. I believe he can get out of his head and become the version of himself he decides suits him best. It’s working with him, it takes time and emotional energy but reminds me why it is all worth it. Why patience is. Why dreaming dreams and working to make the bits that can be possible possible.
I get so funny when I’m in moods like I am now. I am an optimist who isn’t sure what to be optimistic about- a confused realist- a morbid magician. I dunno. I get into this place where my small joys are ridiculously mundane, like printing up bar codes and attaching labels. But in the big picture they are joy worthy as they are possible possibilities that have neither been dreamed or imagined or feared. (That’s three not 2 but whatever).
i seriously cannot tell you all how excited I am about my resident. HP put us in each other’s lives as we can teach each other so much and end up somewhere new as a result.
Its 9:30. I am yawning. Time to sleep. Good night everyone.