why is there never enough time. Or when there is enough time it’s roo much and I have to be patient. 

I was in my studio this evening. Just me doing a bit of work and it felt so good. I craved those hours I had in there by myself and now, of course, wonder if I didn’t use them or take advantage of them as much as I could. Hahahaha, life, you funny annoying delightful thing. You can laugh and sob in the same moment. Fate, thy name is paradox. 

I took some me time and visited a good friend to see her kids dressed up and to give leftover sweets from the Halloween party at work. Her daughters painted my face, each got a half. I became dr. Flower & mr Hide — 1/2 Flowers 1/2 bunny. So much fun!!!  

my friend then said she thought I really should apply for the vmfa dellowship or scholarship or whatever. It’s also due Friday. Soooooo. I’m in the middle of writing my resume and I’m not really sure what to write. But I’m writing it and going for it as I feel like it, like most apps, is a crap shoot. It also reminds me I need to talk to uva about a student volunteer.  

KO and I started the book today. He had my hand gripped tight the whole time and reached his hand up to his eyes- Perhaps brushing away some tears. He got it. He GOT it. he’s in there and is wanting to get out. So I’ll go back tomorrow and continue. He also made a verbal “uh-uh” grunt to me. WE ARE COMMUNICATIN!!!! 

No clue where this will end, but I want to bring some clay in tomorrow. 

Im ridiculously happy in so many ways. And reminding myself at times like this 11:11 (one of my magic numbers) that exhaustion and being in the middle of a lg number of unknowns of course makes one a bit sad at scared at night.  

One step in front of the other. Do the next right thing. Breathe, relax, reboot.  

 

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Christina Osheim