i just have to say "wow, this is my life." I woke up early and had quiet coffee time and just started enjoying the day and doing things. Work yes, but pleasurable. Imagining things. Possibilities. Root systems. How .5 x .5 needs to go on the grocery list for tomorrow am along with flowers.
I found an awesome leonard nimoy bilbo baggins video on fb. Its looking like a mini cousin reunion might happen in April. And driving to work it is crisp and sunny and green. It feels fresh. And this is my life?!?!?
What I am trying to say is that what i am currently living is better than i could ever hope for. Its not the "ideal" nor the worst possible. Its a life with its ups and down, fears and worries, but it seems to suit me. I am feeling ok.
im also currently dumb struck that i got into an ACC show. So a lot of this rumination is me trying to figure out how to catalogue a possibility or opportunity like it. It is something yet it could be a minor something an indifferent something or a larger somethong. I can do work and put my best face forward and try to guide it to the something i think i need. But ultimately my part is going to only be one cog in the large wheel that makes up the something's of life.
this something needs to go and do a thing to make the some. Or be a sum/some that makes the whole. And what better way than to habe Agent Dale Cooper guide me to my own self designed gray lodge.