Im blogging this morning. Probably because there is a good likelihood I will be ready to sleep and think im forgetting something (this).
I could stop. Or make it a when I feel like it. But... but... my gut tells me i shouldnt do that. If i am tired and don't feel like blogging that just means i have had a full, busy day! Hurrah!
Plus it can pull me out of my narcissistic mind. That sounds odd, right? "Blogging about my life makes me less self centered." But I think its true. Things happen in my life, or city, or friends and families lives. If i hope that there is any interest if anyone reading this (in my mind i am followed by thousands, there is a fan club out there named xtinas cadre) - well if i have to have the hope of my cadre reading this and continuing to i have to get it out of ME ME ME ME ME ME ME and into THE WORLD THE WORLD THE WORLD with me as just a small cog in it; with how this cog fits and tries to function being the foci.
I was told about a week ago that I just seem happy. Which was surprising in a way. I guess I am pretty happy for the most part but realize (i really am a teenager learning basic duh things in life toting a 34 yr olds body) but realize that being happy or perceived as happy doesnt make it so that Im not scared, worried, hesitant and unsure. It just means that for the time I have found a way to incorporate my doubts into a frame that is flexible enough to expand and contract given what occurs around me.
And that frame really is made up of my daily rituals. They dont have to happen at a specific time, but they will happen.
So today I am off to take care of a friends kids. They are fun boys and Im sure we'll have some mad adventures. Too bad its rainy or Id say we'd build a fort! Maybe we will build an inside fort?!? And then a combo of clay, hanging w a friend, meeting, clay.
I need to take shelves out if book cases and level shelves from one I brought from home. But anyway, lots to do! Ive got about 10 minutes to hoover coffee and hit the road! Have a great Tuesday everyone!