/ by Christina Osheim

I am ready to fall asleep. My eyes are drooping, im playing a silly game on my lhone, Bridget jones diary is playing on my laptop, pajamas on, drugs taken, happy zzzzzz's poking their angles around the corner. Makes me think of a funny cartoon i saw. Cound off with sheep attendence roll: 🐑 1 🐑 2 🐑 3 🐑 4 🐑 💤  

ha. I laughed.  

I had an awesome relaxing afternoon with a friend. She cooked good food and good conversation music art stuffs life stuffs etc. she was telling me how she read an article that lols are taking laughter out of us. Nooooooooo. It makes sense. But I do not like it. I love to laugh.

Sometimes I worry I don't laugh enough. That im too serious and get so far into my head that my sense of humor gets masked. 

Some of this is that im feeling i need to broaden my horizon. I have been active in my sobriety but also snobbish in a way.  Or could be perceived as snobbish. I hate small talk and forcing conversations and usually am tired and just leave. I sit in my chair and draw and draw and rhen leave. So I dont make that much eye contact and i dunnooooooo. I want to reach out but "see" all these cliques or more likely perceive cliques and use that as an excuse to shy away. *sigh* *big sigh* i wished i still smoked as a cigarette is a great way to make friends. But no no no no and no. I wont.  

so im starting to go to more meetings with people my age at them and hope that friendships emerge miraculously or magically. POOF! Sober friends! Thoigh its funny all but 1 of my new friends arent addicts and except dor my ex it has never been a problem being close to someone who imbibes. Perhaps i need to take alcohol off somehong a partner in crime could consume.   

 

Anyway, im working. And making. And tired. So very very tired. I wish i had more time to just sleep.  Oh well. I can nap for eternities wheb im 6 ft under. Niiiiiiiiijjte alle sammen. ( 

 

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