I left last nights blog a cliff hanger. I am sure there is a way to do a keyboard version of that creepy man peering over the wall with keyboard keys and I am just too lazy to figure it out. But that's what I feel like this is today. Me peeking over yesterdays wall to see what still seems relevant or important to share.
I've gotta try it:
I gave up.
It was supposed to give me some time to think and it kinda helped...
Yesterday was great. I reconnected again with an old friend and realize just how good/great/amazing it is to have old friends. That song "make new friends but keep the old some are silver and the other gold." so so so true. old friends see things because they've known you for so long. You don't have to explain. It is brilliant. I wish our third friend was here also. The three of us could have ridden again! We will, I'm sure. Our trio song is "I wanna marry a lighthouse keeper."
We drove around in high school singing that at the top of our lungs and back seat mosh pitting. Man, we did have some fun times! (The Clockwork Orange is just coincidence, but I enjoy it!)
Anyway, right now is feeling like a really important time for me. I think I need to put my nose to the grindstone and work. To be my quirky, fun, strong self and finish the commissions I have open and keep on making. To keep stepping forward. Putting one little tingly foot in front of the other.
So I was quietly busy yesterday. Getting caught up on sleep and just back to my equilibrium. And then the RODEO! It was so much fun. I have never been to one and my friend and I had a ball. He is a photographer and it was a treasure trove. I just love fun things that are a bit bizarre in a way. And this definitely was bizarre.
I felt like I was in an event where the brain has been bisected. The left hemisphere and the right do not communicate. Or maybe I felt like I was the brain stem and really did not want one of the sides to exist. That is probably it. I wanted to perform a lobotomy on the event! I love an admire the skill and dedication it takes to be able to do some of those tricks. (3 taps and a hooey for example) And the anouncer went on about bucking and how bucking this happens on top of bucking that... I was laughing so hard! What the buck!!! I tried to record parts of it and did but am not sure if I want to listen to it again. But anyway, the skill that these riders have is phenomenal. Hats down to them all the way. But... it was the stereotype of southern conservative christian narrow values. I just put on a tank and it wasn't until I drove up and saw all the trucks and had a 'oh shit, i forgot that i was going to a conservative convention...' thank goodness I wasn't wearing a few shirts I have, but I have a feeling my "strong woman" tank was still pushing the line a bit. And that is what killed me. They honored the police. And that is fine. Except... except in honoring it they also condemned everyone who doesn't share their views as being anti american. I couldn't clap. Or cheer. I felt sick. And the prayer. Yes, there was a prayer. And it was long. I did record that. And it was prayed to a God I do not know. It was heartbreaking in a way. Because I had to accept that being me and portraying my beliefs and openly and honestly and kindly is what I can do.
But the rodeo was FABULOUS! I had a ball. It was the perfect night to be outside and watching it all. I was transported and took a boat load of photos. I will post some of them, but want to curate them before and so?!? I told my friend about the Monster Truck Rally happening in July and think he is game!
I feel like today has jumped forward and sped by. In a good way thus far. My neighbor and I jazzercized, I did a good watering of the flowers, and then went to a meeting, which turned into a really good decision. Not that it is ever a bad idea, but this one today felt like a gift. I did not know I needed this one, but I did and it felt cathartic. And now I have done some work around my house and think it might be time to go outside and read!
Which I did. The downtown mall is great for being alone jn a crowded room. And finished a book! It seems so silly, but these baby steps are awesome signs of me reclaiming myself. Hurrah! So now I am lying on the couch doing laundry and watching Rear Window. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hipp hipp hurrah! Im loving life even when it is hard.