Friday? Tuesday? Wednesday.
it's Wednesday. Right? Oh shit. Monday. Drat! But I thought...
It's Thursday. I do know that, but my system has gotten thrown off that I do have to pause and go "what day is it?"
In some ways good, in others telling that I am ready for a break and mini vacation. I need yo recoup and recenter and breathe. To separate myself away from the day to day mundane and have a new experience in a city I know fairly well.
Im also a bit nervous about heading to Philly. (I dont think I have mentioned or alluded to this trip, my beau and I are heading to Philiy for the weekend.) Philly is the place I had my best adult independent life at (the year before going to grad school) and is also where I really began to nosedive into acute alcoholism and gave up. It is so humbling to write that. I gave up. It is true. Man. Talk about uncomfortable. We were talking about mitochondria, how it is inherited from your mothe; it is mitochondria that gives you the oomph or drive and is something that you can work to increase. I lost mine.
So going back I am wondering what will greet me and how I will greet it. Anything is possible. And THAT is what I have to remember is cool. I will go and have an adventure. A multifaceted one with so many shades or gray and I will most likely feel saddened and elated with my previous lives there and saying hi to the Philly I will get to know as the sober me.
What I am most excited about is seeing my city, yes I am arrogant enough to use a possesive pronoun with a city i lives in for onlh 4 of my 34 years, through someone elses eyes. I get to change lenses for a time and get the joy of exploration a chance to recreate or create new Philly magic. So internet buddies, it's 11 and I have now accomplished todays goals so next time I reach out it will be from the city of brotherly love!