Adventure(s?) of the wandering boob / by Christina Osheim

IMG_3803.JPG

No, this is not a tale of salacious intrigue and adventure although it could be considered a tale of intrigue I guess. I sort of hate bras just a little bit. And since I used 2 middle of the road/negative adjective clauses in one 3 word statement, I will restate. I hate bras. No, it's not some feminist rights, down with men, I'm not going to shave anything for anyone militant stance. Sometimes I do get annoyed by men (and women, and kids, and cats, and dogs, really anyone or anything can annoy me at times, myself included--now, ha!), I do consider myself a feminist who does appreciate traditional gender roles at times, and if I don't shave, which I often don't it's because I'm lazy or in a rush or both. So, why, then do I hate bras? They're annoying. I don't have a large enough rack to make one really totally necessary all the time. I guess they could droop to my knees or belly button, but if they would I think that could be kind of cool. A new version of "do you ears hang low" ditty. I hate them because the underwire can come loose and decide I need an extra rib, The cup is too small and I get not only a muffin top but a muffin boob, the straps fall down so i continually have to pull them up, there is a shirt line showing the V of the bra, it makes shirts wear differently, etc. etc. etc. so I wear sports bras a lot. Or no bra at home. And then, as I am often cold, my nipples show. It's a lose lose lose situation. Or so I thought until I found the elusive padded sports bra. YES, SWEET! 2 for 12$ I'll get 2 and then I'll have 4 and I am SET (ha!). Except they wander. The pads either fall out when being washed, or decide to have a pow wow in the middle, or on one side, or decide to fold over. So instead of being able to fake that I really don;t HAVE boobs, I have some bizarre uniboob that changes location and shape. Right now the left, PERFECT! But the right has folded over and shifted to the middle. So my rack really looks like a staircase. But to the side. I should fix it, but I'd have to take the bra off and I feel like it would be a repeat process. Solution. Do nothing and embrace the cubist sense of humor my tits have adopted. 

Dude, check out those hot wheels says blue to red.  

Dude, check out those hot wheels says blue to red.  

Also, this morning I got to go pick up compost in a woderful adventure, hit up a garden shop, have a delightful breakfast/brunch at a coffee shop, do art things sort of and enjoy the day. I am getting close to being the normal me. Because, world, what is happening is that I am doing SOMETHING!!! Who knows what it will be, but I have never had so much fun or worked ever so hard before and have no complaints to where my feet, or boobs have ended up. So uni-boob, I will accept whatever shape you decide to be. Perhaps it will even become inspiration for Mobius's next body (hee hee) of work.

Enjoy Saturday Folks! It's sunny and gorgeous here in Charlottesville and may involve Indian Classical music and sketching for me later tonight. Hurrah for weekends!

IMG_3787.JPG

A crossroad has been reached and an important question must be decided upon. Which leads to the road less travelled, perennials or annuals? 

Why only 45 days? 46 and it turns into an albatross?

Why only 45 days? 46 and it turns into an albatross?