by Christina Osheim

Well crapola. I don’t know what to write other than today has happened and been pretty good. I am ready for March to be done. February and March are hard months.

Deep breath. Tomorrow is another day closer to April. April really feels like a year anniversary as my first showing as Möbius Keramikk was then.



by Christina Osheim

sometimes I wonder if my tingly feet can be a diving rod. Follow the tingles. The oracle says...

when I was trying to get sober, before I said that tingle toes where a thing, it freaked me out. I thought I was going mad. My reality was *poof* gone. As the tingles felt like my foot was thumping and the ground was undulating. Goodness, with my inner ear benign proximital positional vertigo I was quite literally 3 sheets to the wind. 

And gosh, it took me about another 6 months to mention that my nerves were problematic. I really was convinced that I must be diabetic.  

I guess I write this as a reminder of how easily I can put blinders on. And how important, essential honesty is. Right now I’m so excited about what is happening and where things are heading. I am trying to live in the moment and enjoy the journey. But I am also worried about projecting or letting fear dictate or or or. I sometimes am almost convinced that my neuropathy will pass. It seems to really be getting better. But thump and itch and not being able to really feel continues.

My guess is all that Is floating around in my head right now is me making many mole hills to worry about how scared I am to have my commissions go out. To let this beast free. 

my friends daughter was lying on my chest earlier today after I was making her an airplane or doing aerial yoga with he. Anyway, she (about 4) was laying on top of me looking down at my face and roaring. I was roared at and it was brilliant. That is what I am beginning to do myself. Roar. And roar unabashedly free.  



by Christina Osheim

Today is the first day of spring and I am in such a bitchy mood. Maybe I’m pms-ing or something. I just know that today didn’t go as I wanted it to. And so it is currently 7:43 and I’m in bed in my pjs bundled up trying to feel warm. 

And the crazy thing is I can see how/why I’m feeling how I’m feeling. That what I am feeling is understandable and justified anger, frustration, bs won’t actually solve anything. Sleep, meditation, prayer and backing away to catch my breath and regroup is necessary and is what I’m doing. 

And that I stepped away before I went manic. Now I’m just looking for something to bite into and destroy. Like a dog with a chew toy. Mentally I am KILLING that lobster a la hobbit. (My pup niece for any blog followers not my sis in law) 

Right now there is change happening at my work place- it is shifting in a way that I think it must. And I am both saddened and really excited. And scared. I am so scared about so many things right now. And perhaps it is not failing as much as holding myself back. I can’t I can’t I can’t. This won’t work. Blah blah blah

So right now it is harder for me to keep myself in the middle. I am feeling ever so pulled to the extremes. I need to read Anne of green gables tonight as I do believe she is my literary doppelgänger. And to quote her right now I am in the “depths of despair” and not wanting to acknowledge my optimistic cheerful self just to be overly, selfishly dramatic.  

And this is why I have this blog. I haven’t been using it enough of late to let out my feelings. And. It is spring. Even if today is cold and tomorrow might be snowy. And soon it will be sunny and warm and my vitamin d will be up. And all of these things that currently feel so dramatic will be done. Faded blips on the radar.

and now, my friends, it’s 7:58 and I might just be going to sleep. 

by Christina Osheim

Jackie O’s cranking away. I am curious if I will still have crazy, anxiety dreams or if my anxiety meds and breathe practice are doing their job and remedying this. 

Much is changing right now. I am changing and how I place myself in the world. Today is 17 months sober. Holy hell, I couldn’t see myself where I am now 17 months ago.

I guess the biggest thing that I want to focus on is the joy I am living now. Even when the shit hits the fan, I might not get what I want, a chic kiln is determining my first wholesale order to Harvard Art Museums Shop (!!!!!!!!!!!!). It’s pretty cool. I’m learning to stand firm in myself and not let wanting to be liked dictate how I act.


i am also embracing this paradox. And that if I am going to aim to live my life in the middle you could argue that I am a walking paradox then with a scabby, itchy infuriating scraped knee and itchy hands (hello dry skin and clay)