by Christina Osheim

Right now I feel deflated. I’ve been this big balloon full of ideas, possibilities, hopes, dreams, fears, realities, ideals. And today I feel like that big balloon is squeaking out the last bits of air, gas, or hot air. Take your pic. 

This is the kicker with a brain like line. I want to always create drama. I don’t want to sit in the now. Let time take the time it takes. 

so often this is a problem I have, wanting to race to the finish and not enjoy the steps or let time take what it needs. I really am a toddler, or veruca salt. “I want it and I want it now!” 

a lot has happened. And will keep happening. I just need to find my pace and keep going. I am in a marathon and not a race.  

I did a quick redo of my website, added/have mail chimp activated. Have written a mail chimp welcome letter that I will double check tomorrow and send on out. Photographs, inventory, emails to NY NOW people, hopefully fill out a lease and drop it off... and bring  peace, clean water, nutritious food and education to the world. I’ll while also getting a solo show at PACE gallery. Hahahahahahahahahaha. 🤦‍♀️

I am worried. And probably rightfully so. But as I keep moving forward my worries ebb. I like perimeters and Aa soon as I get this lease signed my living situation will change. It will be so nice to be independent. Challenges will come from that, but my mental health will be so happy!!! Plus I will be within walking distance to a very good friend and easy driving to another. Huzzah! Life, you baffles me. I am learning how to be me and use the tools of AA to recognize my bullshit before it gets too stinky.  

So i feel deflated because everything has turned out remarkably as I’d like it. And I am expected a choir of angels to sing and everyone celebrate in the streets! Instead I get a normal for me day.

by Christina Osheim

it’s is 3:46pm and I am sitting on the front porch of a friends house watching their dog explore and awaiting a call from my brother.

i have been working on the computer— no, not this silly funny little smart phone— but on my laptop.

And 6 hours later... 

i had such a good conversation with him.  That has been one of my favorite things. He and I have gotten quite close. Sobriety has taught me how to see underneath. The interstitial space. I still realize how much I have yet to see. Or learn to. BUT!!! When I had a neuropsychologist my visual memory ranked at the 98th%. So I can see and remember now I just have to get used to new lenses, or swapping lenses. 

I am changing and change is happening. I think I found a place to move into. Rephrase, I have found and just need to get the paperwork done.  

I have decided no shows unless it’s a party at my studio/sale I’m coordinatonf/free pop up in DC. And if my sales #’s don’t improve that I will remove myself from HOME showplace Tribeca. 

i am really getting my online presence going and feeling a bit less pulled in so many directions. Or having to fit myself into a myriad of specifically shaped holes, none of which are me sized.  

I went to a friends wedding reception in the country tonight and it was beautiful. Really incredible. I was/am so touched she invited me. I need to try and reach out more.

im now sitting watching a documentary on Amy Winehouse and cuddling with my friends dog. I feel super content, with a pang of sadness that I am turning a corner. I want to be doing this and need to be doing it. But there have been some very beautiful things about the past 2 years that i need to remember and honor.  

On a parting note. I went to Target and bought waxing strips a friend recommended. AND!!! I waxed my legs. There is still some hair, but I am not going to shave again. Nope. Armpits and legs are going unshken. Bikini only when going swimming. And I’m xonginuing to smell things. My neural pathways are opening!!!

peace out blog buddies!!!

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by Christina Osheim

So much to write and share. But.... I’m pooped, have a good book & a delightful pup sleeping with me. Will have to share tomorrow  

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by Christina Osheim

Back in cville with a 4 legged roommate for a few days!

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Also. Belly dancing is so so so much fun! 😍😍😍